A totally official list of things to do in London

Meat Mission. Yummmmm.

London is my favourite city in the world to visit. Beyond the tourist things you probably already know about, here’s my list of personal faves. The marvelous Simon Dingle introduced me to a lot of these places.

Tell me what I’m missing! Let’s make the definitive list of rad things to do in London, peeps!

Food, bars, nightclubs

• The Queen of Hoxton rooftop bar — it changes theme every 6 months.
• The Breakfast Club — for brunch!
• Meat Mission — friggen gorgeous venue, with literally the most delicious vegetarian burger I’ve ever eaten in my life.
• The Village Underground — a club, only go after 11pm.
• Cafe Chula — delicious Mexican tapas.
• Cereal Killer Cafe — damn expensive breakfast cereal, but it’s fun.
• Bounce — a ping pong bar.
• Happiness Forgets — cocktails.
• Carwash — a ridiculous disco club.
• Draughts — a boardgames cafe.
• Arepa & Co — Venezuelan breakfast next to the canal.
• The Bonneville Tavern — good old fashioned type pub, with truly delicious food and cocktails.
• Any one of Ottolenghi’s glorious deli restaurants, there are a few.
• Fabrique bakeries! Eat the cardamom roll.
• Fabric — another nightclub.
• Bourne & Hollingsworth Buildings — more brunch. Do you know that London is obsessed with brunch?
• Desperados — Mexican.
• Milk & Honey — 1930s vibe cocktails.
• Go to a night-time food market run by Street Feast.

Experiences

• Yeah, do the tourist thing and watch a West End show. One of the big musicals. They’re worth it.
• See what’s on at the Roundhouse. I got to watch Run the Jewels. It was off the goddamn hook. Na na na naa na.
• Dennis Severs’ House — I can’t really describe this, but it’s wild. Go at night.
• Find an East End night-time walking graffiti tour — there are a few, and they’re hella interesting.
• Walk around St James’ park, looking for tiny wildlife (all wildlife around London is tiny). Other lovely outdoor places are Richmond Park (go cycling and look at deer), Kew Gardens, the London Wetland Centre, and Hampstead Heath.
• Find one of the city’s many immersive games. Some are escape-the-room type things, others see your running all around the city pretending to be a spy or escaping zombies. Just Google “immersive games London” and see what’s running.
• Read up on the latest trendy hipster things going on in the city. London loves weird pop-up brunch concepts, for instance.
• Shakespeare’s Globe is cheesy, but worth a visit if you are a Shakespeare nerd.
• I haven’t been, but I hear that the Harry Potter Studio Tour is actually pretty magical. Also, I know people who’ve really loved London ghost tours.
• Wander around the cemeteries. Highgate is lovely. Bunhill Fields is small, but William Blake is buried there, so it’s my personal favourite.

Museums

• The Tate Modern — filled to the brim with amazing things, and it’s free. It’s often worth paying extra to see the special exhibits though.
• The National Portrait Gallery — skip the Tate Britain (it’s nice but it’s like 90% Turner) and rather go to this. It’s fascinating and there isn’t anything like it anywhere else in the world.
• The Hunterian Museum — only if you’re not squeamish. But this museum about surgical history is actually my single favourite thing in London. Warning: my friend Simon calls this “The Dead Baby Museum”, so research this before you go and make sure it won’t freak you out.
• The Wellcome Trust Museum — fascinating science museum, if the Hunterian is too intense for you.
• Windsor Castle—look, you need to see at least one monarchy thing. This is touristy but it’s pretty fascinating. Go look at the dollhouse. Apparently, Hampton Court is also a nice palace option. My friend Mike suggests walking there from Richmond, along the Thames.
• Churchill’s War Rooms — the actual bunker where Churchill planned WWII from.
• British Library — if you’re a book nerd, it’s worth going to take a look at the Illuminated Manuscripts and Special Collections
• The British Museum — hella crowded but filled to the brim with all the fascinating stuff Britain plundered from its colonies.

Shopping

• Hoxton square — there are great stores all around the area. I particularly recommend popping into a sex store called “Sh!”
• There are some excellent comic book stores around Soho, with attendants who are happy to spend an hour with you recommending things to read. I particularly love Gosh! and Orbital Comics. Forbidden Planet is a nearby megastore, and a good place to buy gifts for nerdy loved ones.
• Camden. All of Camden! Gosh I love Camden, despite the crowds. Go to Cyberdog and buy all of the rave clothes you’ll ever need. Marvel at the bizarre unicorn shoes and hilarious t-shirts. Gawk at the actual real-life Punks, who are now in their 50s but still kicking ass. My friend Matthew Barge recommends cycling to Camden on one of those Boris bikes, along the canal.
• Spitalfields market. It’s the hipsteriest. Also, just wander up Brick Lane. There’s an amazing chocolate store called Dark Sugars. Buy every single thing they have. And spend many hours at Rough Trade East, the best record store in London.
• There are so many wonderful bookstores in London. Some of my favourites are Daunt, Koenig, The London Review bookshop, Persephone, Gay’s the Word, and Artwords. There are also dozens of cheap second hand places near the student areas.
• The computer shops around Tottenham Court Road, for hella old gadgets.
• Another one for Harry Potter fans! Check out the House of MinaLima, who made all the graphic art for the films. Guys, you can buy copies of the Quibbler.

Look guys, I even made you a map.